Care enough about
The ones you love to
Share with them the truth
I wrote this years ago but never had a good place to share it until now. I was reminded of it today. It’s a transcript from one of my more unusual client sessions. Shared with permission, of course!
Peter: Everyone I get close to gets hurt.
Josef: Say more.
Peter: I constantly have to worry about the people I love. It’s a dangerous world, far more than people realize. But I can’t even tell them about it, because that alone makes it dangerous for them.
Josef: You must feel really alone.
Peter: Sometimes, yes, but I think that’s just how it is.
Josef: Maybe. But let’s go back to why you’re here. What’s not working in your life?
Peter: It’s my girlfriend. Whatever I do doesn’t seem to be enough.
Josef: What does she want?
Peter: If I knew that, I’d give it to her. I’d do anything for her.
Josef: I can feel how much you love her.
Peter: So much, and that’s the problem.
Josef: How so?
Peter: The more I love someone, the more dangerous it is for them.
Josef: That’s quite a pickle you’re in.
Peter: I know, right?
Josef: What if what she wants is not actually something you can give, but something to release.
Peter: What do you mean?
Josef: Well, my guess is that she wants to be closer with you, and you’re keeping her at a distance. What would happen if you let go of being her protector?
Peter: I don’t even want to imagine it.
Josef: What comes up when you do?
Peter: The first thing is fear, then guilt. Something terrible will happen and it will be my fault.
